Overheard at the table

Riley: Sam you need to finish your eggs.
Sam: Me don't want to.
Riley: But Sam there are starving children who would love to eat those eat, like in Haiti,
El Salvador .......Michigan.

Here we go again...

John's cancer is back.
He will spend the next month completely off of his medicine- which will make him get more and more tired. The week before Christmas we will have to go to Columbia for 4 days where he will be tested, poked and scaned- followed by swallowing a radioactive iodine pill which will burn any thyroid tissue in his body. His throat will feel like it has a sever sunburn. This pill is so potent that he will have to spend the following 4 days in isolation, so as to not harm me or the kids. There is a possibility that he will have to have another surgery. There is the possibility that it has already spread to his soft tissue- like his lungs or brain.

I want to tell you that everything is going to be fine and that we are all holding up great- but the reality is we are sick of this crap. My husband has felt bad everyday for the last 2 1/2 years. If we are going to do something in the evening- he will need a nap in the afternoon. And that is how he feels when he IS being medicated. But now for the next month he can't have any of his medicine. Which will not only make him tired, but also impatient, grumpy, forgetful, scared and sometimes just downright mean.

I feel like there is a 2 year old inside me wanting to get out and throw a fit on the floor and scream that "I don't want to do this". I don't want our holidays to be like this. I don't want to worry again. I don't want to have to take up more of the slack. I don't want to see him be so wore out. I don't want to see him forget mid-sentence what he was talking about. I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!

But for some reason this is what God is asking of me now. I wonder if there was a lesson in this the last time around, and I didn't learn it well enough. Is God using John's sickness to show me something. To break me of something, or to build me up for something. Or is this just a concequence of a sinful world. Yesterday I woke up feeling excited about the holidays, and the fun stuff I have planned for the kids. And tonight I go to bed feeling so weighted down. This just doesn't feel like my life- like I shouldn't have a husband with cancer, or I shouldn't have to think about radioactive pills, or daily pukings or I shouldn't have to plan no-salt meals for my crazily picky husband.

And through all of this I will think of the Casting Crows song- Praise you in this Storm- because I do serve a powerful Lord who sees my tears and hears my prayers. And I have to keep telling myself that "all things work together for the good of those who love Him".

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
Though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights…”
-Habakkuk 3:17

Swap Goodness!

I was partened with Clare for Melissa's gratitude wrap swap. Not only is Clare a total sweetheart, she and I have lots in common and she sent me a beautiful colorful gratitude wrap. I love her fabric choices! Her wrap is based on the one that SouleMama makes. Here's a couple pics of my great package.


















A peek at the package I'm sending Clare (note "sending" as in waiting till the very last minute).







We have done so much fun stuff lately

hopefully I can squeeze out some time for a better update.

Thanks so much Clare- I love my package!

Hello Again...

I am just going to pretend that I didn't take an unintentional break from this blog- and just jump right into a new post okie dokie.

We have had a crazy full summer- Here's a taste of our own brand of chaos....John coached the church team of co-ed softball. We played every Friday night and had such a good time. We weren't the best team (more like the worst team) but we had the most fun!

4th of July was pretty laid back for us, we stayed home, then went to town for fireworks. Next year I hope to do a big shindig here.

Riley took swim lessons and learned to jump off the board.

We got to see two of our good friends be baptized in the lake. It was awesome to see Jim and Felicety along with so many others. There was even a surprise renewal of wedding vows for a couple that go to our church- so cool.

Riley played coach pitch softball- she loved it. She learned alot this year and had great coaches.

Riley did a sewing kit swap with a little girl in South Carolina and a girl in the United Kingdom. Such a neat idea. Riley has been embroidering like nobody's business lately. She is getting pretty good.

Riley also got new glasses- they look very grown up- until she opens her mouth!

We also got to help with Food4Kids which is a great program that takes free lunches to the park for children. We help every Wednesday- it has been a good time getting to know lots of little kids.

We also went to children's camp for a week, have done lots of house stuff, and farm stuff, John had his tonsils taken out and his nasal passages scrapped- yeah it was gross, and even though the surgery was 2 weeks ago- he is still hurting.

Day 10

I ended up back at the doctors office today, because when i woke up my eye was so swollen, I could barely open it, and it itched like crazy. He said that I must be alergic to one of the medicines, but because this is such a bad infection- he said I would have to tough it out- because he didn't want to take me off any of the medicines. He gave me a Z-pac in hopes that it would help clear it up quickly. Ugh... no fun.

Riley had a ball game tonight- that I din't go to because I look like the hunchback of Notre Dame's- older, fatter sister right now. John said she played well and actually hit the ball twice.

I made a pair of these pants for Sammy tonight- they were so quick- now I'm on the lookout for a cute shirt to make a pair for Riley.

I want to make a couple of these hooded towells for my kiddos for the pool. We'll see..

Day 9

I woke up today and looked like this......





my eye was completely swollen shut and sealed with gunk. Dr. Maddox said it was a "nasty bacterial infection"- so he prescribed me $ 200 worth of medicine! Thankfully- he had samples for all of it. It feels horrible, it looks horrible, and I'm pretty whiney about it. Be glad you don't live with me. BTW- he didn't have anything that would take care of the humungo zit near my chin.

Day 8

We spent the day with some of our friends today. It was so nice to have the kids play outside in the sprinkler and the mom's just chit-chat, while the guys worked outside.

We talked about husbands, kids, homes, cooking, cleaning, not cleaning. It was nice.

More inspiration pics for my living room.

I don't Love everything about these rooms, but I do love the "feel" of both of them.

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