Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Day 10

I ended up back at the doctors office today, because when i woke up my eye was so swollen, I could barely open it, and it itched like crazy. He said that I must be alergic to one of the medicines, but because this is such a bad infection- he said I would have to tough it out- because he didn't want to take me off any of the medicines. He gave me a Z-pac in hopes that it would help clear it up quickly. Ugh... no fun.

Riley had a ball game tonight- that I din't go to because I look like the hunchback of Notre Dame's- older, fatter sister right now. John said she played well and actually hit the ball twice.

I made a pair of these pants for Sammy tonight- they were so quick- now I'm on the lookout for a cute shirt to make a pair for Riley.

I want to make a couple of these hooded towells for my kiddos for the pool. We'll see..

Monday, June 9, 2008

Day 9

I woke up today and looked like this......





my eye was completely swollen shut and sealed with gunk. Dr. Maddox said it was a "nasty bacterial infection"- so he prescribed me $ 200 worth of medicine! Thankfully- he had samples for all of it. It feels horrible, it looks horrible, and I'm pretty whiney about it. Be glad you don't live with me. BTW- he didn't have anything that would take care of the humungo zit near my chin.

Day 8




We spent the day with some of our friends today. It was so nice to have the kids play outside in the sprinkler and the mom's just chit-chat, while the guys worked outside.





We talked about husbands, kids, homes, cooking, cleaning, not cleaning. It was nice.






More inspiration pics for my living room.




I don't Love everything about these rooms, but I do love the "feel" of both of them.

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Saturday, June 7, 2008

Day 7







For Mother's Day- John gave me something I have wanted for a long time- Mike Heaton! Mike is using his home building skilz on my living room. Here is what it used to look like

I know these aren't the best pictures- but you can see how tiny the room was. The wall on the right we tore out and now the living room has the added space of Riley's old room. Which makes it so much more nice. Since we tore out the wall we have added a piano, the computer desk, and a loveseat to the eccletic mix of garage sale furniture. The covers on our couches are chocolate brown soft corduroy.
I love the brown, turquoise, linen colors together- maybe even a little splash of a pretty orange, and some celery green. What do you guys think.
We spend alot of time at home- so I want this room to be functional (of course) but also feel inviting and cozy. I would love to have a rug in a corner near a little bookshelf for afternoon reading, and cute pillows on the couch- and I just love the hexagon quilt above. I would like the room to be filled with things that mean something to me- the kid's framed artwork, grandmas quilts rolled and stuck in a basket, embroidered pillows, colorful, relaxing colors.
Any ideas? I would love to do a pretty turquoise on the walls, or maybe A wall. Also- what do you think of the beadboard- should it stay or go? I can't decide- I have always loved it- but at this point we would need to buy quite a bit more to finish the room, and I just don't know if we can or should spend that much right now.
Help me by answering these questions:
Bead board- take it or leave it?
Color for the living room walls?
Color for the kitchen?
If this was your house what would you do?



Friday, June 6, 2008

Day 6

I had 2 confrontations with people this week. Both of them left me feeling sick to my stomach. I hate the way I feel afterwards, I hate the second guessing every comment, and I hate feeling like i should have said something different or differently. The first one was with a classmate I have known for a long time. In the end I ended up apologizing for speaking harshly towards her. It was over something stupid and wasn't worth any more drama.

The second one was with someone I have just recently met. The conversation lasted for over an hour and I left feeling so defeated. This person- hands down- is smarter than I am. I have no doubt about that. Because of that, and because this person referenced things I knew nothing about- I let this person make me feel unworthy, stupid and so very discouraged. I cleaned out my pantry and cabinets today, and during that incredibly mundane task- I replayed over and over our conversation. And it still hurts today. This person seemed to have a predetermined negative opinion of me. And I hate that instead of speaking my mind- I was bullied into being quiet -into being LESS.

I have been in a similar situation with doctors before. When Riley was 3 she fell really hard at a wedding reception and we ended up taking her to the er. The doctor on call so openly discredited my opinion- and told me she was just throwing a fit and to calm her down and take her home and put her to bed. After 3 more trips to the er that night- I finally grew a back bone and told the doctors I wasn't leaving until they figured out what was wrong. They finally- to appease me- did a ct scan in which they found that she had hit the floor soo hard that her brain had slammed into the front of the skull bruising it, and then slammed backwards and bruised that back of her brain. She ended up spending the night and the next day in the hospital to be watched. Why did I do that- why did I back down from something I felt so stongly about?

Why even days later does this latest confrontation play in my head, and make me feel like LESS? Why do I care about their opinion at all. Why do I care if someone tainted their opinion- with their own bad feelings towards me.

And above all this- what in the world was I to learn from all this? With taking a leadership role at church- I have opened myself up to alot of scrutiny. Over the past 2 years I have had more people upset with something that I have done, or not done then the past 10 years combined. And each time someone confronts me about this the words "teachable spirit" run through my head over and over, believing that for whatever reason God would use them to teach me something I needed to know. But the latest confrontation left me feeling so bad that I don't see the lesson in it. I just feel the hurt from it. And the regret that I allow it to make me feel that way.

Marianne Williamson wrote this, and later Nelson Mandella quoted it in a speech....
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light,not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others..

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Day 5








Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Day 4

Yesterday I wrote that I wanted to get this done Today

Vacuum my bedroom floor
Make a grocery list for Thursday
Plan 2 weeks worth of meal plans
Work more at the church

I got it all done, except the floor- because my husband had already done it! I know, I know, caarazy- but true- the man is a gem.



Tomorrow I hope to...

Shop for groceries

Put away said groceries

Help John round up a baby goat we're selling to pay for said groceries

Fun, Fun stuff I tell ya.



I have spent entirely too much time on the website where I got that slick little music player to the side- so glad I have cool friends who are in the know about that kind of stuff.



So many of these songs have memories attached to them.

I've had the time of my life- the theme song from Dirty Dancing..... When I lived in Trenton, I would always get off the bus one stop early and spend the afternoon at my friend Brooke's house. She had the VIDEO of Dirty Dancing- which of course I wasn't allowed to watch- which of course we watched anyway. We had the whole thang memorized- "Nobody puts Baby in the corner"- oh Patrick Swayze you were so cute then, and we were so naive- who wants a boyfriend who works as a dancer at a summer camp with a car with broken windows and trashy friends. Even though he was so wrong for me- Patrick will always hold a special place in my heart! lol



You've got the right stuff-BABY- NKOTB- another song from the same time- Brooke and her little brother Ryan had rooms that were attached. So we would run from Brooke's room and jump on Ryans truck- which was a perfect stage. We would belt out all the NKOTB songs while wearing our oversized NKOTB shirts and spandex leggings our hair in teased high ponytails, with of course fluffed bangs. If we weren't listening to NKOTB then we were all about ...



Paula Abdul- opposites attrack- is it sad that I still know the words?



All the Judds songs- Before I had a drivers license I worked at Cafe de Cream- they had a jukebox that had really good country songs. I loved all the Judd stuff- and one of my favorite Wynonna songs- Only love- I can remember the smell of the mop bucket as I cleaned up the dining area singing the songs after closing. Good times- and free ice cream.



Garth Brooks- When GB was in KC for concerts last Fall- my parents took my brother, sister and I to a concert. It was a great memory to be just the "original five"- and to belt out the songs together. EVERYBODY stood and sang the whole concert- it was awesome. John also gave me the whole GB collection when I graduated in '98. When we were dating we would always sing along to the cd's on the way to and way back from where ever we went. John has a great voice- especially on Lonesome Dove.



All the christian stuff- now I pretty much exclusively listen to 90.7. I love the music and I love that it's the stuff Riley will have to remember- instead of junk like NKOTB.



All the music brings memories back, and reminds me that...

I am blessed.

P.S.- I tried another one of her recipes the other day- and the cinnamon rolls turned out great. I always get nervous working with bread- but these were pretty easy. They puffed up and looked bad- so i just poked them back in their spot and they were fine. The frosting is the best- made with syrup... mmm syrup. How do you like my baby blue/lavender counter tops? Good gravy- what was I thinking?

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Day 3

Yesterday i wrote..

I hope to....
work most the day at the church
clean off my deck and pick up the yard
cook supper again- maybe pancakes for supper,mmm


Well, two out of three aint bad! The rain squelched the yard plan, but I cleaned my room instead, I refolded all the clean laundry, and get this- I PUT IT AWAY- now I know what your thinking- who is this woman and where is your laundry hating plump friend? Well ladies, it's still me- just with a taller bedroom now, I could probably have touched the ceiling in there only a few short hours ago.


I do have a confession to make though- remember how I told you yesterday that I cleaned off my counters, well actually I intended to clean my counters, but I didn't really do it. Whew- that feels so good to get that off my chest- I have felt like such a fraud all day hehe! ( and i don't need anything bulking up my chest!)


So tomorrow I hope to....

Vacuum my bedroom floor

Make a grocery list for Thursday

Plan 2 weeks worth of meal plans

Work more at the church


Tonight I wanted to tell you a little about the homeschool coop that we're in. We started homeschooling Riley this year for first grade- and of course we had a ton of questions. Many things just worked themselves out, but I was so blessed to have the ladies of this coop- many are several years into homeschooling there to help. Riley & Sam both love going to coop- there are lots of kids to play with, and they get along really well. The picture is of most of the kids from the coop- pictured with Jennifer Teter who taught our kids art. The kids were able to learn about pottery, making prints, painting- it was great. And while the bigger kids had art the little ones played in the church gym and the moms talked- that's right- just talked. It was great to have that connection once a week with moms who were going through or had gone through the same stuff as I was. I especially enjoy my time with Karen. She is such an amazing mom- with all those little ones- and the girl seriously NEVER raises her voice. Karen and I have very similar values, similar husbands who take such good care of us, and we both are a bit too absorbed into the "blogworld". And here's the kicker- we have seen each others houses on "the day before the maid comes" and we still let our children play at each others homes! Now that is special my friend.

Looking back on this year of homeschooling- I am okay with how it went. I think for our first year we both learned alot. Riley has become an excellent reader, she has learned she can do her work without me helping her every step of the way. We have both figured out that homeschooling for our family has to be laid back. We have to be flexible enough to hop in the truck with Daddy to go look at the bald eagle in our woods. We have to be able to stop what we're doing to help round up the goats when they get out (and they get out alot). I have figured out that my perfectly scheduled day will never happen as long as a little boy lives here.

Our best times this year was during our time when we were reading The Little house books. We read them ALL. We checked out all the LH picture books from the library. We dyed our own fabric, we made rag and corn husk dolls. We made griddle cakes and homemade lemonade. Riley built her own covered wagon, complete with tiny bolts of fabric and barrels of beans. It was so awesome to find something that completely captured all of our interest. We even started to wait to do the read aloud chapters until the evening because John wanted in on the fun too.

This year we pieced a curriculum together to not spend so much money- next year I hope to buy something put together for me- that focuses on units where we learn about people groups from history- I'm considereing sonlight- but good gravy I'll have to sell a kidney to afford it.

It was a year full of questioning ourselves- is this really right for Riley- will she ever catch onto her math- will she learn to be a good friend without daily practice at it- will she hate me forever for not allowing her to have school parties, and school lunch, and ride the school bus.

In the end I am excited about summer, with the possiblity of starting with a clean slate next fall. I love having my kids near me. I love walking to the mailbox together every day. I love fixing lunch while Riley takes a spelling test at the kitchen bar. I love being the one who gets to see her face light up when I put the sticker on her perfect math test. I love conspiring with her to do something "crafty" with her as soon as bubby goes down for his nap. I love feeling like what I'm doing is helping to prepare her to grow to be a Proverbs 31 woman. I love knowing that she will always remember the mumification process because we did it to a barbie doll. I love knowing that she will always hear the rhythm we made up to help her spell purple. I love knowing that Psalm 23 will always be with her because we worked on memorizing it so much. I love knowing that when she thinks of school she will think of a place where she is loved, where she learned and where she was able to teach a little herself. I learned so much this year in homeschool and I am so grateful that we live in a country, and a state where homeschooling is the family's choice and for that.... I am blessed.



Monday, June 2, 2008

Day 2



Today was one of those lazy, get very little accomplished kind of days- that feel good- in the "I deserve a break" sort of way, but terrible in the" crap in this house is piling up" kind of way.




So to go along with my posting everyday in June- I'm also going to write about what boring stuff I accomplished also. You are thrilled aren't you. OOh this is gonna be one exciting month!




So... Today I....


worked on our budget.. we are officially broke, and will be for a very, very long time.


cooked supper and used a new recipe from the pioneer woman(these potatoes were delish)... I realize this is an everyday thing in most houses, but sadly not ours.


Took out the trash and burned it.


Practiced Rileys softball hitting in the front yard.


Completely cleaned off my counters... somehow every surface has become a hotspot.




Tomorrow I hope to....


work most the day at the church


clean off my deck and pick up the yard


cook supper again- maybe pancakes for supper,mmm




I leave you with a picture that my sister Olivia took of Sam over memorial day weekend- this kid is a total nut, and man I am in love. with. him! Some things i don't want to forget about him at 2.5 years old.


He is perpetually dirty- the boy finds a mess where ever he goes.


He says each word like it's own sentence- hold. me. momma. seperating each word with a little stop- love it.


He peed off the deck tonight for the first time- just pushed his naked tush out and did it- and has done it 5 or 6 times since.


He loves tools- he carries around a bunch of tools, and he knows that the blue handled pliers are daddy's and that the metal handled ones were Papa Johnny's.


His favorite place to go is the scrap yard with John. He calls it the junkyawd, he gets to see lots of cool stuff and they give the kids smarties.


He loves his crocs that look like fire, and he loves them even better when their on the wrong feet.


He demands CHOC in his milk.


We can ask for the most obscure object and he will go get it- Like yesterday when I asked John to get me a vacuum bag- and Sam went straight to the utility closet and dug it out.


His best friend is his Papa Sonny- it's a little obsesive on both sides.


When I hold him after he has hurt himself, he grabs my neck and pulls me as close as we can get to each other- it is awesome.


Everything is pink to him.


He loves baths- he pretends the faucet is a coffee machine and makes me dozens of cups of coffee every bath- he has now started putting bubble "cream" on top.


He has several smiles- and i wish it wasn't so but my favorite one is the onery- i just did something rotten smile.


He loves to read books- and play with tractors and be held, and sing You are my sunshine and go to his sunday school class that he calls nursery.


He loves wearing his vroom-vroom(motorcycle) underwear, and also has no problem with pooping in them.


He is rotten, can throw a fit like a pro, has a mean way of hitting his sister when she's too pushy, he throws his sucker wrappers on the floor, and he spilled a half a bag of cereal on the floor today.


He is wonderful. and I am blessed.




Sunday, June 1, 2008

Can I do it?

Can I blog everyday for a month? I'm going to try- even if it's just a few words, or a picture.

Over the weekend Olivia, Riley and I went to KC to see my brothers family. We got to watch Bryson play ball, the kid cracked me up- he ran with his hands on top of his head so his helmet wouldn't fall off. Then we watched the girl's dance recital- it was LONG but they did such a great job. The senior girls danced to "Dance with Cinderella" by stephen curtis chapman. Towards the end of the song- a line of men went to stand at the back of the stage. The girls were each announced and went to stand by their dads in the back. It was so neat- I cried. We went garage saleing in KC too. i got a flat screen monitor for 10 bucks! woo hoo, I was so happy. I also found a PC bar pan and pie plate for $5 each. It was so fun gs'ing in KC we definetly want to do that again.

I was hoping to see amy over the weekend, but time just got away from us. But no worries- since she'll be soo much closer soon!